"As a human being. You have all the basic ingredients. You're really very likeable, when you put your mind to it. You make people laugh, when you can be bothered, and you're kind, and when you decide you like someone then that person feels as though she's the centre of the whole world, and that;s a very sexy feeling. It's just that most of the time you can't be bothered."
- Laura to Rob, in the book HIGH FIDELITY by NICK HORNBY.

Favorite paragraph in the book haha. Finished it in 3 days of camp. I read too fast for my own good.

Anyway..
Today, I
1.  Booked out for half day of off.
2. Went to Clementi for fish porridge (lunch, ~1415hrs)
3. Didn't feel full after lunch, proceeded to subway and bought a Subway Melt.
4. Brought it home with me in the taxi.
5. Had a very chatty taxi driver. Not bad, as long as I don't have to talk much :D
6. Got home and toasted my sandwich somemore.
7. Turned on my laptop.
8. Realized the fan was even noisier than 3 days ago.
9. Proceeded to spend points 10,11,12,13,14, etc. (at least 3 hours) trying to strip my laptop, and fix the fan.
18. Stripped my laptop twice.
19. Managed to make a fan that was grinding loudly at the start, to stop grinding at the end.
20. Managed, in fact, to end up with a fan that doesn't even work.
21. Ended up with a laptop that doesn't have cooling.
22. Si liao, means need to spend more money.

Rawr.

I failed soc, so i had to come back on sat for training. so FRI was a bookout, translated into a NIGHTS OUT for me, and i had SOC SAT morning. so more or less a break of SAT-SUN-MON-TUES. and SAT was spent KO'ed at home, because of SOC. to SUN MON TUES. and then SUN was a late reveillie (yay.) and church for the most part, and another day gone. now its MON. and halfway through the day. I'ma sadded. 

anyway, taiwan trip coming up this saturday. 21 days till 22/23 aug. I'm not looking forward to it, I must say. The temperature up there is horrendously high, with nary a chance of low humidity what with it being the typhoon season and all. ( i was wishing for at least DRY weather.) darn it all. not looking forward to climbing heights and all that stuff. just hoping to endure it day by day I guess, wish me luck >.< where I go to after sispec.. i'll cross that bridge after I get there. but the freaking out has already begun. 

i wonder how much phone calls cost on roaming in taiwan. sighhh. 3 weeks awaaaay. 

anyway its that time of year now, seems like everyone's gonna be breaking contact for a while. most of the saf guys will be thrown overseas for some training, while the girls start moving in to UNI. wow its gonna be a busy month or 2. i better make plans to meet up with the lot of them soon.  

note to self: this post is nothing like what i had in mind. darn it. 

i get the feeling i'm way too idealistic. 
or maybe i was just brought up differently?
sometimes i get the feeling i expect too much from people.
like i kinda wish everyone could be more logical and civilized when dealing with others. 
some people really do get a kick out of antagonizing others, and damn its frustrating.
are they just testing waters? having fun at the expense of others? 
kinda screwed up imo. 
or maybe i'm just not mature enough. too innocent + naive. 
not too hard to accept i guess, just a bit saddening ): 
hope i don't piss people off. considering i'm so poor at reading others. 

in other news, had a nice night out tonight with jean seok cheryl kunwon and jian yi :D
dinner and talking nonsense ftw. 
somehow i always want to blog, always think i have content to blog about, and when it comes down to it..
i've got nothing to write. 
this lj is gonna be such a poor record of my thoughts. wasted -.-
this weekend feels kinda invigorating. or maybe it was the ice coffee i had just now with the gang.
mildly cheery now haha. 
and tired too doh. why tired. sigh. 

walking home from the bus stop was quite an uplifiting experience.
singing alone with music in my ears, strolling in the illumination of streetlamps. 
nary a care in the world (for like 10 minutes -.-) and just relaxing in the semi-silence.
don't really get chances for that in camp. 
do miss the feeling for letting loose some notes, some words, some lyrics,
belting out a tune, a song.
okay i think more endorphins are flowing through me for some reason.
or just caffeine. man coffee club has strong coffee.
euphoria is fun.
ima stick lyrics into my ipod songs one day. when time is more abundant.
time to go.

Don't give up,
It's just the weight of the world..
-  Don't Give Up (You Are Loved)

I'm not kidding. I'm clamming. Can't you tell? 
I don't like talking much, after all, clams can't really talk.
Normally, i'm just sitting in a corner, lurking..
laying calcium carbonate on some irritant inside me..
I like listening though. I can listen for hours on end.
Clams hardly yawn. I think. I'm not sure xD.
I'm a filter feeder though, so don't blame me if I have selective listening.
I talk (to significant extents) only under certain conditions..
Cooking me thoroughly is probably the best way to get me to open up. 
I recommend white wine and garlic. With a garnish of chopped spring onions at the very end. 
But if you don't want to cook, just alcohol works.
Drown me in beer or wine or champagne etc. you get the idea.
Whatever it is, don't make me into chowder ):

Mm. Clam. I'm juicy inside. 

Damn i'm getting hungry typing about myself. 
I think its bad to be a clam. I'd get fat thinking about myself. 

Months down the line i'll be reminded of this post, and i'll see how absurd it really is.
Oh wait, I think i'm starting to realize already.
Oh, false alarm, I'm just hungry.
 

its always the same, the first few days of leave are filled with elation, and those at the end of leave are filled with dread.
it seems the longer the leave, the worse the end becomes. back to the same old routine, the same old activities. 

on the upside, i really loved my week. on the downside, i won't be getting a week like this for ages to come. 
and i envy those others, those who managed to be posted elsewhere, where they can have some semblance of learning new things. 
while i'm stuck doing more of the same. rawr. 

haha i'll miss my friends. i wonder if they'll miss me. 

boohoo more marches camps firings chionging socing in 2 days.

lol what do i blog about for my first post in several weeks? 

humm..
I just accepted NUS' offer of course to me, so I suppose my life in 2 years will still be here in sunny Singapore. 
Last week, I bought Lush: Tiga, the third compilation from 99.5 FM.. Not too bad a collection I guess, and bumped into Lush: Deux today. Didn't buy it though.
This week is my last week of BSLC. In about 120 hrs I shall be undertaking a long march. 
Army isn't too bad I guess, already heard of quite a few people signing on. Life is pretty straightforward, and most people are good and friendly. There'll always be black sheep making life difficult though. pfeh. 
Currently, "What becomes of the Broken Hearted" is stuck looping in my head. 
Just had a choir outing today, a nice dinner at Essential Brew I think. Plus coffee after that. We should do that more often. It's good to catch up and just relax. It will only get harder to plan such meetings.
I miss taking photos, I regret not having taken more at the meeting just now. Something inherently magical about capturing a 1/60 second slice of life. 
HOI CHOIR, anyone wanna acapella "Fly Me to the Moon"? Very very interested in doing that song acapella. Man. 
I'm way sleepy. damn. 
Gotta thank God for looking over me these past few months, I'm very thankful. Gotta go sleep now I think. 
Hope I can meet choir people soon again (:

whywhywhy danggg. 

plus my scholarship apps aren't done. 

aaaaaaah.

plus i'm sick, which means I won't get to exercise at all during the block leave. Which means all my effort in BMT is erased.

DAMN AAAAh

*panic*
 

meh second bookout from NS. 3 weeks over. 33 percent done. 

Time and time again in camp, my mind drifts back to the issue of the As. I can't help it, it just seems to haunt me continuously. I know I didn't do well for the damn papers, and I just dread having to go and see my results the day they are released. Damned sense of foreboding. I'm guessing at best its just ABBC for the damn thing. Damned depressing. Unfortunately, miracles are miracles. That is, chances are, they won't happen. Dang. 

In other news, I do miss HC. Just miss going in and walking from lesson to lesson. School is such joy compared to bunk life -.- and already I feel my language skills slipping away. there's just not much time to keep my mind working like before. I do appreciate the PT though, never did have the willpower to do it on my own. I guess i'll just have to rely on the journal writing to try and keep myself thinking. Can't let my mind rot, no sir. I want to still be able to spell 2 years from now xD. 

Had a small choir gathering yesterday, abit sad coz it was just a few people, but it was definitely better than nothing heh. Eating hokkien mee now. Such luxury xD. oh well hmm. Booking in 6 hours later (ie got to be at pasir ris 6 hrs later) and life goes on. oh well.

 Is the phrase

"No unauthorized entry" redundant?
or rather,
"Unauthorized entry prohibited"?

IMO "Authorization Required" makes more sense but I could be wrong *shrugs*

In other news, christmas is over, and I had the most wonderful time going for carolling with the choir alumni. 
The emo will come soon, I'm sure. 

 so it seems, this far post-As, my math is already starting to slip away from me. 

DAI.

 i dunno..

( self-obsessed and indulgent whining ZOMG. )

Oh screwz.

Gotta start exercising in preparation for teh armiez.